Bachata Embassy


Help! My Fiancé Needs Dance Lessons Article

This article is about wedding dance lessons and the challenges one future married couple faced before tying the knot. If you find yourself in a similar situation hopefully it will also be helpful to you! 

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Recently I received a call from an old friend, who I hadn’t heard from in a couple of years. She told me that she was finally getting married after many failed relationships with the wrong type of guy.

Moreover, she was very happy with her fiance and was currently in the San Francisco area planning a wedding for next year. She had already chosen some of the best wedding vendors, picked out her wedding dress, and planned the wedding parties. 

There was only one problem. Her fiance can’t dance and needs to be able to dance for their choreographed first dance!

She’s a great social dancer and has many years of experience in various dance styles including Ballroom, Tango, Waltz, Salsa, Bachata, and Kizomba. Her fiance on the other hand had absolutely zero dance experience and didn’t enjoy dancing.

He said he had two left feet and didn’t look forward to dancing at his wedding with friends and family looking on. Moreover, he said, “he was a man and men don’t dance”.  He prefers to sit back and relax with a drink in a low-key setting.  

Fiancé need wedding dance lessons

Wedding Dance Lessons For The First Dance & Getting Him To Agree!

Normally this wouldn’t be a problem, however, my friend loves to dance.  She has been dancing since she was a child and has always dreamed about her first dance at her upcoming wedding.

She realized that while her fiance was a great guy, he had absolutely no clue how to dance. Moreover, she believes he has a fear of dancing in public.

He told her he’d rather go to the dentist and get a tooth pulled or a cavity drilled than have to go dancing in public.

She asked me for some advice and here is what I told her.

  1. The first thing I suggested was to keep it simple, sit down with her fiancé in a private room and explain how she felt.
  2. Secondly, I told her to emphasize how important this first dance was to her and how she dreamed about it since childhood.
  3. Thirdly I advised her to tell him that she would make him shine like a star after he learned some basic steps.
  4. Once she can get him to agree to take wedding dance classes, they should then come up with a written plan for the big day!
Make a plan for wedding dance lessons


  1. Determine what dance song and what style of dance they would dance to during their first dance. I suggested they pick a song and a style of dance that would be easier for him to learn. Also, one that he will be comfortable dancing to.
  2. Keep it short and sweet, no longer than 3 minutes.
  3. Allow the future groom to choose his instructor and a comfortable environment.
  4. Communicate with the dance instructor regarding what they both wish to accomplish via this dance instruction.
  5. He should take private lessons and not group lessons until he can grasp the basics of leading his partner. Many men are embarrassed to dance; they find it not very masculine. I also suggested they not dance together until he feels comfortable dancing. 
  6. I also recommended making sure he had plenty of time to learn the choreography for their wedding dance. At least 6 months but a full year of dance lessons would be much better. This is very important as many men don’t want to look foolish in front of their girlfriend or fiance. Additionally, since she is a very good social dancer, she doesn’t need any dance lessons.
  7. Provide positive feedback on his development as a new dancer.
  8. Once he can develop his basic dance skills and feels comfortable dancing to the song and or style of music, then and only then did I recommend they start dancing together.


The next step to make this a successful first dance is for both of them to practice their dance moves and dance routines. The more time they spend on the dance floor practicing the better chance they have at a special first dance.

Lastly, the final step in their plan should be dancing in public to get him to feel confident in this type of setting. I suggested on their date nights, she take him dancing at several local Salsa and Bachata socials.

Tips on Selecting a Dance Instructor and Dance Studio

Since she is located now in the San Francisco area I also gave her a couple of tips on what to look for when choosing a professional dance teacher. 

  1. I told her to take a look at some of the large chain dance studios such as Arthur Murray Studios and Fred Astaire Studios. These usually cost more but can tailor a dance program for your wedding day needs. They also have a large number of instructors available to help with your wedding reception dance choreography. 
  2. I also suggested she contact some independent dance schools which are normally cheaper and also have a large number of expert instructors.
  3. Additionally, she could check out a list of freelance professional dancers who have a history of working with couples. Here is a link to search for these instructors in the San Francisco Area. Wedding Dance Lessons San Francisco

While living in the San Francisco California area is not cheap you can expect to pay around $150 an hour for wedding first dance lessons. With these tips, they should be able to find the right dance instructor and dance lessons to make them look good together on the dance floor!

Thanks for visiting the Bachata Embassy! I hope this information about wedding dance lessons is helpful to you.  Feel free to share this article with your friends and let us know if you have any additional suggestions for getting her fiance Wedding Dance Lessons in the comments section.  

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Picture of Brian Moran

Brian Moran

Brian Moran is a Salsa, Bachata & Kizomba dancer from New York City.  He has been fortunate to live and work abroad in Europe, Asia, and the Caribbean for over 13 years. While living overseas, he has attended hundreds of international dance festivals and events. He has also taken classes and workshops with some of the top professional Salsa, Bachata, and Kizomba Instructors worldwide.


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